This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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