exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
