so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
