Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize