ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
