Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
