The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
