No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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