You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
