i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
