She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
When are your genitals available?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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