Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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