i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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