if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just pee around me
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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