If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
