Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
