I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
