Me. At least after what I've been through.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
