Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
