We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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