Kiss
Puke
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize