Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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