And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
