what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Randomize
