She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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