Someone shit on the floor
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
