nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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