That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
They have beer where we have blood.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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