Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
