Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
