First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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