When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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