okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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