worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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