I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
