i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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