He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
