he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
