I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
