If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
