On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
