i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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