Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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