SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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