I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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