You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
