on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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