Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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