i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
