You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
third nipple confirmed
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
