I wish you could order shots online.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
