We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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