Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
