the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
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