I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
