no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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