WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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