I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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