I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize