I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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