wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
