I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
