The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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