Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
