Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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